9/10/2021

I wish I could say I was productive today, but I wasn't. I slept in, had therapy, and then lounged around all day watching tv and listening to audio books. I had intentions of cutting the grass, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and getting the dishes done, but I didn't. Instead I ordered way too …

10 minute journal #2

10 minute journal #2 I hate feeling like I HAVE to write, I mean it's hard enough to get in touch with my emotions, let alone to have to do it on the spot. But I guess I'll start with the beginning of today. I stayed up late last night because I didn't have to …

10 minute journal #1

New therapy assignment. Write for ten minutes, preferably about feelings, without judgement. So not really sure what to say when I'm forced to write. It's weird truthfully. I've been on track, well as much as I can be on track with food. I haven't purged in two days now, but I have been restricting. I …

Spiraling

I can't do this anymore, keep feeling this heartache. You know, the type that you literally feel your heart shatter and break. I did once when H left 6 years ago and somehow now, I have to put the pieces back together from T. T was the first one since H that I let myself …

Consequences

I woke up this morning bloated, tired, and like I had ate an entire container of salt right before bed. A weekend of purging and my body says nope we aint doing this no more.. get it together. I'm supposed to go over to my family's today. It's obvious what I've been doing all weekend. …

Hello September

You would think that by 31 I would have it all together. I wouldn't still be struggling with bulimia, I wouldn't be so goddamn depressed and anxious all the fucking time.. ohh and I wouldn't miss a week of work because I couldn't get out of bed either.. Yep.. that happened this week.. you read …